Tuesday, January 24, 2012

Will Someone PLEASE Step up to the Plate?!

Way back in January, I wrote of the retirement of Duncan my top rooster. It was a sad day having to forcibly retire him into the oldies run with one of our more mature ladies for company.

Well, the top job is still vacant. There have been many applicants, but so far not one of them has taken on the role.

Timothy, is one of the youngest. He is a quite a handsome devil, but the ladies still boss him around and he is very subserviant. He is still young and finding his feathery feet.

Floyd is completely ill-prepared for life as a top rooster. He is very pretty, but quite an airhead. He loves the sexy chicken time, but does little else in the way of flock protection. He hogs the food and there is essentially very little about him the is gentlemanly. Duncan did nothing to prepare this little man for life in the top job, simply because Duncan was so good at it.

Marcus is a letdown in general. He is son of Marcus who was the son of Marcus. Marcus Marc One, was the ultimate rooster. He never crowed. He was seriously sexy eye candy. Tame. Would wander through the house if the back door was open and could often be found making a nest for his girls to lay eggs in in our laundry basket. He was one really cool little chicken dude. We lost him in the terrible foxing of 2007. It was a daylight raid, mid morning and the carnage was almost absolute. Duncan survived that day by virtue of being in a run in the front yard of the house with three of our girls. We lost a legend that day, but Duncan very quickly filled the top rooster position and the rest is history. But, this Marcus is not even a shadow of Marcus Marc One.

The two Hamishes (all cuckoo boys are named Hamish on this little farm, it is just easier to keep track of who is who) are also pretty useless. They are flighty, piggy and like Floyd, only interested in whispering sweet nothings in the girls ears and then sodding off to avoid chickenly responsibility.

However, there is little Phoebe, Duncan and Emilys direct offspring. We held onto the hope the Phoebe would remain a she, BUT she is actually a ¨He¨. So Phoebe is now Phoebus. It is a shame that we did not name her ¨Lila¨ then with the imminent roosterdom we could have renamed her ¨Lola¨ The Daffodil brain works in mysterious ways. Surely being Duncans son means that Phoebus is genetically inclined to be a superior leader? A leader that our little flock sorely needs?

Forget about nature abhorring a vaccumn....DAFFODIL ABHORRS IT MORE!!!! I want a top rooster, and I am fed up with waiting.

So if you are a rooster and you are looking for a new job, with excellent remuneration and staff bonuses working for a company with strong family ethics and seeking that work/life balance, then send your resume complete with two professional referees to :

Chicken Resources Manager
Little Piece of Green
Central Vic. AUS


  1. Great Post loved it.

    Wish I was a chicken. Alas I am only a human :-(

  2. haha poor boys, so much to live up to! My boy Zorro is learning the ropes slowly. I wonder if its instinctual or environmental?